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第94章

[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第94章


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imagined。 She was a practical woman; a domestic wife 
for an inferior poet; endowed with romantic beauty by 
some freak of unintelligent Nature。 No doubt her beauty 
itself would not stand examination。 He had the means of 
settling this point at least。 He possessed a book of photographs 
from the Greek statues; the head of a goddess; 
if the lower part were concealed; had often given him 
the ecstasy of being in Katharine’s presence。 He took it 
down from the shelf and found the picture。 To this he 
added a note from her; bidding him meet her at the Zoo。 
He had a flower which he had picked at Kew to teach her 

botany。 Such were his relics。 He placed them before him; 
and set himself to visualize her so clearly that no deception 
or delusion was possible。 In a second he could see 
her; with the sun slanting across her dress; ing towards 
him down the green walk at Kew。 He made her sit 
upon the seat beside him。 He heard her voice; so low and 
yet so decided in its tone; she spoke reasonably of indifferent 
matters。 He could see her faults; and analyze her 
virtues。 His pulse became quieter; and his brain increased 
in clarity。 This time she could not escape him。 The illusion 
of her presence became more and more plete。 
They seemed to pass in and out of each other’s minds; 
questioning and answering。 The utmost fullness of munion 
seemed to be theirs。 Thus united; he felt himself 
raised to an eminence; exalted; and filled with a power of 
achievement such as he had never known in singleness。 
Once more he told over conscientiously her faults; both 
of face and character; they were clearly known to him; 
but they merged themselves in the flawless union that 
was born of their association。 They surveyed life to its 
uttermost limits。 How deep it was when looked at from 

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this height! How sublime! How the monest things 
moved him almost to tears! Thus; he forgot the inevitable 
limitations; he forgot her absence; he thought it of 
no account whether she married him or another; nothing 
mattered; save that she should exist; and that he should 
love her。 Some words of these reflections were uttered 
aloud; and it happened that among them were the words; 
“I love her。” It was the first time that he had used the 
word “love” to describe his feeling; madness; romance; 
hallucination—he had called it by these names before; 
but having; apparently by accident; stumbled upon the 
word “love;” he repeated it again and again with a sense 
of revelation。 

“But I’m in love with you!” he exclaimed; with something 
like dismay。 He leant against the windowsill; looking 
over the city as she had looked。 Everything had bee 
miraculously different and pletely distinct。 His 
feelings were justified and needed no further explanation。 
But he must impart them to some one; because his 
discovery was so important that it concerned other people 
too。 Shutting the book of Greek photographs; and hiding 

his relics; he ran downstairs; snatched his coat; and passed 
out of doors。 

The lamps were being lit; but the streets were dark 
enough and empty enough to let him walk his fastest; 
and to talk aloud as he walked。 He had no doubt where 
he was going。 He was going to find Mary Datchet。 The 
desire to share what he felt; with some one who understood 
it; was so imperious that he did not question it。 He 
was soon in her street。 He ran up the stairs leading to her 
flat two steps at a time; and it never crossed his mind 
that she might not be at home。 As he rang her bell; he 
seemed to himself to be announcing the presence of something 
wonderful that was separate from himself; and gave 
him power and authority over all other people。 Mary came 
to the door after a moment’s pause。 He was perfectly 
silent; and in the dusk his face looked pletely white。 
He followed her into her room。 

“Do you know each other?” she said; to his extreme 
surprise; for he had counted on finding her alone。 A young 
man rose; and said that he knew Ralph by sight。 

“We were just going through some papers;” said Mary。 

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Virginia Woolf 

“Mr。 Bast has to help me; because I don’t know much 
about my work yet。 It’s the new society;” she explained。 
“I’m the secretary。 I’m no longer at Russell Square。” 

The voice in which she gave this information was so 
constrained as to sound almost harsh。 

“What are your aims?” said Ralph。 He looked neither at 
Mary nor at Mr。 Bast。 Mr。 Bast thought he had seldom 
seen a more disagreeable or formidable man than 
this friend of Mary’s; this sarcasticlooking; whitefaced 
Mr。 Denham; who seemed to demand; as if by right; an 
account of their proposals; and to criticize them before 
he had heard them。 Nevertheless; he explained his projects 
as clearly as he could; and knew that he wished Mr。 Denham 
to think well of them。 

“I see;” said Ralph; when he had done。 “D’you know; 
Mary;” he suddenly remarked; “I believe I’m in for a cold。 
Have you any quinine?” The look which he cast at her 
frightened her; it expressed mutely; perhaps without his 
own consciousness; something deep; wild; and passionate。 
She left the room at once。 Her heart beat fast at the 
knowledge of Ralph’s presence; but it beat with pain; 

and with an extraordinary fear。 She stood listening for a 
moment to the voices in the next room。 

“Of course; I agree with you;” she heard Ralph say; in 
this strange voice; to Mr。 Bast。 “But there’s more that 
might be done。 Have you seen Judson; for instance? You 
should make a point of getting him。” 

Mary returned with the quinine。 

“Judson’s address?” Mr。 Bast inquired; pulling out 
his notebook and preparing to write。 For twenty minutes; 
perhaps; he wrote down names; addresses; and other suggestions 
that Ralph dictated to him。 Then; when Ralph 
fell silent; Mr。 Bast felt that his presence was not 
desired; and thanking Ralph for his help; with a sense 
that he was very young and ignorant pared with him; 
he said goodbye。 

“Mary;” said Ralph; directly Mr。 Bast had shut the 
door and they were alone together。 “Mary;” he repeated。 
But the old difficulty of speaking to Mary without reserve 
prevented him from continuing。 His desire to proclaim 
his love for Katharine was still strong in him; but he had 
felt; directly he saw Mary; that he could not share it with 

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Night and Day 

her。 The feeling increased as he sat talking to Mr。 Bast。 
And yet all the time he was thinking of Katharine; and 
marveling at his love。 The tone in which he spoke Mary’s 
name was harsh。 

“What is it; Ralph?” she asked; startled by his tone。 She 
looked at him anxiously; and her little frown showed that 
she was trying painfully to understand him; and was 
puzzled。 He could feel her groping for his meaning; and 
he was annoyed with her; and thought how he had always 
found her slow; painstaking; and clumsy。 He had 
behaved badly to her; too; which made his irritation the 
more acute。 Without waiting for him to answer; she rose 
as if his answer were indifferent to her; and began to put 
in order some papers that Mr。 Bast had left on the 
table。 She hummed a scrap of a tune under her breath; 
and moved about the room as if she were occupied in 
making things tidy; and had no other concern。 

“You’ll stay and dine?” she said casually; returning to 
her seat。 

“No;” Ralph replied。 She did not press him further。 They 
sat side by side without speaking; and Mary reached her 

hand for her work basket; and took out her sewing and 
threaded a needle。 

“That’s a clever young man;” Ralph observed; referring 
to Mr。 Bast。 

“I’m glad you thought so。 It’s tremendously interesting 
work; and considering everything; I think we’ve done very 
well。 But I’m inclined to agree with you; we ought to try 
to be more conciliatory。 We’re absurdly strict。 It’s difficult 
to see that there may be sense in what one’s opponents 
say; though they are one’s opponents。 Horace 
Bast is certainly too unpromising。 I mustn’t forget 
to see that he writes that letter to Judson。 You’re too 
b

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