[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第71章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
she agreed aloud。
“You could get rooms here; no doubt; if you wanted
to;” Rodney replied。
“But I’m just leaving London for good—I’ve taken that
cottage I was telling you about。” The announcement
seemed to convey very little to either of his hearers。
“Indeed?—that’s sad… 。 You must give me your address。
But you won’t cut yourself off altogether; surely—”
“You’ll be moving; too; I suppose;” Denham remarked。
William showed such visible signs of floundering that
Katharine collected herself and asked:
“Where is the cottage you’ve taken?”
In answering her; Denham turned and looked at her。 As
their eyes met; she realized for the first time that she
was talking to Ralph Denham; and she remembered; without
recalling any details; that she had been speaking of
him quite lately; and that she had reason to think ill of
him。 What Mary had said she could not remember; but
she felt that there was a mass of knowledge in her mind
which she had not had time to examine—knowledge now
lying on the far side of a gulf。 But her agitation flashed
the queerest lights upon her past。 She must get through
253
Night and Day
the matter in hand; and then think it out in quiet。 She
bent her mind to follow what Ralph was saying。 He was
telling her that he had taken a cottage in Norfolk; and
she was saying that she knew; or did not know; that particular
neighborhood。 But after a moment’s attention her
mind flew to Rodney; and she had an unusual; indeed
unprecedented; sense that they were in touch and shared
each other’s thoughts。 If only Ralph were not there; she
would at once give way to her desire to take William’s
hand; then to bend his head upon her shoulder; for this
was what she wanted to do more than anything at the
moment; unless; indeed; she wished more than anything
to be alone—yes; that was what she wanted。 She was
sick to death of these discussions; she shivered at the
effort to reveal her feelings。 She had forgotten to answer。
William was speaking now。
“But what will you find to do in the country?” she asked
at random; striking into a conversation which she had
only half heard; in such a way as to make both Rodney
and Denham look at her with a little surprise。 But directly
she took up the conversation; it was William’s turn
to fall silent。 He at once forgot to listen to what they
were saying; although he interposed nervously at intervals;
“Yes; yes; yes。” As the minutes passed; Ralph’s presence
became more and more intolerable to him; since
there was so much that he must say to Katharine; the
moment he could not talk to her; terrible doubts; unanswerable
questions accumulated; which he must lay before
Katharine; for she alone could help him now。 Unless
he could see her alone; it would be impossible for him
ever to sleep; or to know what he had said in a moment
of madness; which was not altogether mad; or was it
mad? He nodded his head; and said; nervously; “Yes; yes;”
and looked at Katharine; and thought how beautiful she
looked; there was no one in the world that he admired
more。 There was an emotion in her face which lent it an
expression he had never seen there。 Then; as he was turning
over means by which he could speak to her alone; she
rose; and he was taken by surprise; for he had counted on
the fact that she would outstay Denham。 His only chance;
then; of saying something to her in private; was to take
her downstairs and walk with her to the street。 While he
254
Virginia Woolf
hesitated; however; overe with the difficulty of putting
one simple thought into words when all his thoughts
were scattered about; and all were too strong for utterance;
he was struck silent by something that was still
more unexpected。 Denham got up from his chair; looked
at Katharine; and said:
“I’m going; too。 Shall we go together?”
And before William could see any way of detaining him—
or would it be better to detain Katharine?—he had taken
his hat; stick; and was holding the door open for Katharine
to pass out。 The most that William could do was to stand
at the head of the stairs and say goodnight。 He could
not offer to go with them。 He could not insist that she
should stay。 He watched her descend; rather slowly; owing
to the dusk of the staircase; and he had a last sight of
Denham’s head and of Katharine’s head near together;
against the panels; when suddenly a pang of acute jealousy
overcame him; and had he not remained conscious
of the slippers upon his feet; he would have run after
them or cried out。 As it was he could not move from the
spot。 At the turn of the staircase Katharine turned to
look back; trusting to this last glance to seal their pact
of good friendship。 Instead of returning her silent
greeting; William grinned back at her a cold stare of sarcasm
or of rage。
She stopped dead for a moment; and then descended
slowly into the court。 She looked to the right and to the
left; and once up into the sky。 She was only conscious of
Denham as a block upon her thoughts。 She measured the
distance that must be traversed before she would be alone。
But when they came to the Strand no cabs were to be
seen; and Denham broke the silence by saying:
“There seem to be no cabs。 Shall we walk on a little?”
“Very well;” she agreed; paying no attention to him。
Aware of her preoccupation; or absorbed in his own
thoughts; Ralph said nothing further; and in silence they
walked some distance along the Strand。 Ralph was doing
his best to put his thoughts into such order that one
came before the rest; and the determination that when
he spoke he should speak worthily; made him put off the
moment of speaking till he had found the exact words
and even the place that best suited him。 The Strand was
255
Night and Day
too busy。 There was too much risk; also; of finding an
empty cab。 Without a word of explanation he turned to
the left; down one of the side streets leading to the river。
On no account must they part until something of the very
greatest importance had happened。 He knew perfectly
well what he wished to say; and had arranged not only
the substance; but the order in which he was to say it。
Now; however; that he was alone with her; not only did
he find the difficulty of speaking almost insurmountable;
but he was aware that he was angry with her for thus
disturbing him; and casting; as it was so easy for a person
of her advantages to do; these phantoms and pitfalls
across his path。 He was determined that he would question
her as severely as he would question himself; and
make them both; once and for all; either justify her dominance
or renounce it。 But the longer they walked thus
alone; the more he was disturbed by the sense of her
actual presence。 Her skirt blew; the feathers in her hat
waved; sometimes he saw her a step or two ahead of him;
or had to wait for her to catch him up。
The silence was prolonged; and at length drew her at
tention to him。 First she was annoyed that there was no
cab to free her from his pany; then she recalled vaguely
something that Mary had said to make her think ill of
him; she could not remember what; but the recollection;
bined with his masterful ways—why did he walk so
fast down this side street?—made her more and more
conscious of a person of marked; though disagreeable;
force by her side。 She stopped and; looking round her for
a cab; sighted one in the distance。 He was thus precipitated
into speech。
“Should you mind if we walked a little farther?” he asked。
“There’s something I want to say to you。”
“Very well;” she replied; guessing that his request had
something to do with Mary Datchet。
“It’s quieter by the river;” he said; and instantly he
crossed over。 “I want to ask you merely this;” he began。
But he paused so long that she could see his head against
the sky; the slope of his thin cheek and his large; strong
nose were clearly marked against it。 While he paused;
words that were quite different from those he intended
to