[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第46章

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resembled　Elizabeth’s。　She　made　her　knees　a　fortable　
rest　for　his　head；　and　ran　her　fingers　through　his　hair。　

“I　should　like　Mary　to　stroke　my　head　like　that；”　Ralph　
thought　to　himself　suddenly；　and　he　looked　at　Christopher；　
almost　affectionately；　for　calling　forth　his　sister’s　
caresses。　Instantly　he　thought　of　Katharine；　the　thought　
of　her　being　surrounded　by　the　spaces　of　night　and　the　
open　air；　and　Mary；　watching　him；　saw　the　lines　upon　his　
forehead　suddenly　deepen。　He　stretched　out　an　arm　and　
placed　a　log　upon　the　fire；　constraining　himself　to　fit　it　
carefully　into　the　frail　red　scaffolding；　and　also　to　limit　
his　thoughts　to　this　one　room。　

Mary　had　ceased　to　stroke　her　brother’s　head；　he　moved　
it　impatiently　between　her　knees；　and；　much　as　though　
he　were　a　child；　she　began　once　more　to　part　the　thick；　
reddishcolored　locks　this　way　and　that。　But　a　far　stronger　
passion　had　taken　possession　of　her　soul　than　any　
her　brother　could　inspire　in　her；　and；　seeing　Ralph’s　change　
of　expression；　her　hand　almost　automatically　continued　
its　movements；　while　her　mind　plunged　desperately　for　
some　hold　upon　slippery　banks。　

CHAPTER　XVI　


Into　that　same　black　night；　almost；　indeed；　into　the　very　
same　layer　of　starlit　air；　Katharine　Hilbery　was　now　gazing；　
although　not　with　a　view　to　the　prospects　of　a　fine　
day　for　duck　shooting　on　the　morrow。　She　was　walking　up　
and　down　a　gravel　path　in　the　garden　of　Stogdon　House；　
her　sight　of　the　heavens　being　partially　intercepted　by　
the　light　leafless　hoops　of　a　pergola。　Thus　a　spray　of　
clematis　would　pletely　obscure　Cassiopeia；　or　blot　
out　with　its　black　pattern　myriads　of　miles　of　the　Milky　
Way。　At　the　end　of　the　pergola；　however；　there　was　a　
stone　seat；　from　which　the　sky　could　be　seen　pletely　
swept　clear　of　any　earthly　interruption；　save　to　the　right；　
indeed；　where　a　line　of　elmtrees　was　beautifully　sprinkled　
with　stars；　and　a　low　stable　building　had　a　full　drop　of　
quivering　silver　just　issuing　from　the　mouth　of　the　chimney。　
It　was　a　moonless　night；　but　the　light　of　the　stars　
was　sufficient　to　show　the　outline　of　the　young　woman’s　
form；　and　the　shape　of　her　face　gazing　gravely；　indeed　
almost　sternly；　into　the　sky。　She　had　e　out　into　the　

164　



Virginia　Woolf　

winter’s　night；　which　was　mild　enough；　not　so　much　to　
look　with　scientific　eyes　upon　the　stars；　as　to　shake　herself　
free　from　certain　purely　terrestrial　discontents。　Much　
as　a　literary　person　in　like　circumstances　would　begin；　
absentmindedly；　pulling　out　volume　after　volume；　so　she　
stepped　into　the　garden　in　order　to　have　the　stars　at　
hand；　even　though　she　did　not　look　at　them。　Not　to　be　
happy；　when　she　was　supposed　to　be　happier　than　she　
would　ever　be　again—that；　as　far　as　she　could　see；　was　
the　origin　of　a　discontent　which　had　begun　almost　as　
soon　as　she　arrived；　two　days　before；　and　seemed　now　so　
intolerable　that　she　had　left　the　family　party；　and　e　
out　here　to　consider　it　by　herself。　It　was　not　she　who　
thought　herself　unhappy；　but　her　cousins；　who　thought　it　
for　her。　The　house　was　full　of　cousins；　much　of　her　age；　or　
even　younger；　and　among　them　they　had　some　terribly　
bright　eyes。　They　seemed　always　on　the　search　for　something　
between　her　and　Rodney；　which　they　expected　to　
find；　and　yet　did　not　find；　and　when　they　searched；　
Katharine　became　aware　of　wanting　what　she　had　not　
been　conscious　of　wanting　in　London；　alone　with　William　

and　her　parents。　Or；　if　she　did　not　want　it；　she　missed　it。　
And　this　state　of　mind　depressed　her；　because　she　had　
been　accustomed　always　to　give　plete　satisfaction；　
and　her　selflove　was　now　a　little　ruffled。　She　would　have　
liked　to　break　through　the　reserve　habitual　to　her　in　order　
to　justify　her　engagement　to　some　one　whose　opinion　
she　valued。　No　one　had　spoken　a　word　of　criticism；　
but　they　left　her　alone　with　William；　not　that　that　would　
have　mattered；　if　they　had　not　left　her　alone　so　politely；　
and；　perhaps；　that　would　not　have　mattered　if　they　had　
not　seemed　so　queerly　silent；　almost　respectful；　in　her　
presence；　which　gave　way　to　criticism；　she　felt；　out　of　it。　

Looking　now　and　then　at　the　sky；　she　went　through　the　
list　of　her　cousins’　names：　Eleanor；　Humphrey；　Marmaduke；　
Silvia；　Henry；　Cassandra；　Gilbert；　and　Mostyn—Henry；　the　
cousin　who　taught　the　young　ladies　of　Bungay　to　play　
upon　the　violin；　was　the　only　one　in　whom　she　could　
confide；　and　as　she　walked　up　and　down　beneath　the　
hoops　of　the　pergola；　she　did　begin　a　little　speech　to　
him；　which　ran　something　like　this：　

“To　begin　with；　I’m　very　fond　of　William。　You　can’t　deny　

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Night　and　Day　

that。　I　know　him　better　than　any　one；　almost。　But　why　
I’m　marrying　him　is；　partly；　I　admit—I’m　being　quite　
honest　with　you；　and　you　mustn’t　tell　any　one—partly　
because　I　want　to　get　married。　I　want　to　have　a　house　of　
my　own。　It　isn’t　possible　at　home。　It’s　all　very　well　for　
you；　Henry；　you　can　go　your　own　way。　I　have　to　be　there　
always。　Besides；　you　know　what　our　house　is。　You　wouldn’t　
be　happy　either；　if　you　didn’t　do　something。　It　isn’t　that　
I　haven’t　the　time　at　home—it’s　the　atmosphere。”　Here；　
presumably；　she　imagined　that　her　cousin；　who　had　listened　
with　his　usual　intelligent　sympathy；　raised　his　eyebrows　
a　little；　and　interposed：　

“Well；　but　what　do　you　want　to　do？”　

Even　in　this　purely　imaginary　dialogue；　Katharine　found　
it　difficult　to　confide　her　ambition　to　an　imaginary　panion。　


“I　should　like；”　she　began；　and　hesitated　quite　a　long　
time　before　she　forced　herself　to　add；　with　a　change　of　
voice；　“to　study　mathematics—to　know　about　the　stars。”　

Henry　was　clearly　amazed；　but　too　kind　to　express　all　
his　doubts；　he　only　said　something　about　the　difficulties　

of　mathematics；　and　remarked　that　very　little　was　known　
about　the　stars。　

Katharine　thereupon　went　on　with　the　statement　of　her　
case。　

“I　don’t　care　much　whether　I　ever　get　to　know　anything—
but　I　want　to　work　out　something　in　figures—　
something　that　hasn’t　got　to　do　with　human　beings。　I　
don’t　want　people　particularly。　In　some　ways；　Henry；　I’m　
a　humbug—I　mean；　I’m　not　what　you　all　take　me　for。　I’m　
not　domestic；　or　very　practical　or　sensible；　really。　And　if　I　
could　calculate　things；　and　use　a　telescope；　and　have　to　
work　out　figures；　and　know　to　a　fraction　where　I　was　
wrong；　I　should　be　perfectly　happy；　and　I　believe　I　should　
give　William　all　he　wants。”　

Having　reached　this　point；　instinct　told　her　that　she　
had　passed　beyond　the　region　in　which　Henry’s　advice　
could　be　of　any　good；　and；　having　rid　her　mind　of　its　
superficial　annoyance；　she　sat　herself　upon　the　stone　seat；　
raised　her　eyes　unconsciously　and　thought　about　the　
deeper　questions　which　she　had　to　decide；　she　knew；　for　
herself。　Would　she；　indeed；　give　William　all　he　wanted？　

166　



Virginia　Woolf　

In　order　to　decide　the　question；　she　ran　her　mind　rapidly　
over　her　little　collection　of　significant　sayings；　looks；　
pliments；　gestures；　which　had　marked　their　intercourse　
during　the　last　day　or　two。　He　had　been　annoyed　because　
a　box；　containing　some　clothes　specially　chosen　by　him　
for　her　to　wear；　had　been　taken　to　the　wrong　station；　
owing　to　her　neglect　in　the　matter　of　labels。　The　box　had　
arrived　in　the　nick　of　time；　and　he　had　remarked；　as　she　
came　downstairs　on　the　first　night；　that　he　had　never　
seen　her　look　more　beautiful。　She　outshone　all　her　cousins。　
He　had　discovered　that　she　never　made　an　ugly　movement；　
he　also　said　that　the　shape　of　her　head　made　it　
possible　for　her；　unlike　most　women；　to　wear　her　hair　
low。　He　had　twice　reproved　her　for　being　silent　at　dinner；　
and　once　for　never　attending　to　what　he　said。　He　had　
been　surprised　at　the　excellence　of　her　French　accent；　
but　he　thought　it　was　selfish　of　her　not　to　go　with　her　
mother　to　call　upon　the　Middletons；　because　they　were　
old　family　friends　and　very　nice　people。　On　the　whole；　
the　balance　was　nearly　even；　and；　writing　down　a　kind　of　
conclusion　in　her　mind　which　finished　the　sum　for　the　

present；　at　least；　she　changed　the