[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第40章

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She　knew　the　ways　of　this　world；　it　was　a　shapely；　orderly　
place；　she　felt　convinced　of　its　right　and　its　wrong；　and　
the　feeling　that　she　was　fit　to　deal　a　heavy　blow　against　
her　enemies　warmed　her　heart　and　kindled　her　eye。　In　
one　of　those　flights　of　fancy；　not　characteristic　of　her　but　
tiresomely　frequent　this　afternoon；　she　envisaged　herself　
battered　with　rotten　eggs　upon　a　platform；　from　which　
Ralph　vainly　begged　her　to　descend。　But—　

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Virginia　Woolf　

“What　do　I　matter　pared　with　the　cause？”　she　said；　
and　so　on。　Much　to　her　credit；　however　teased　by　foolish　
fancies；　she　kept　the　surface　of　her　brain　moderate　and　
vigilant；　and　subdued　Mrs。　Seal　very　tactfully　more　than　
once　when　she　demanded；　“Action！—everywhere！—at　
once！”　as　became　her　father’s　daughter。　

The　other　members　of　the　mittee；　who　were　all　rather　
elderly　people；　were　a　good　deal　impressed　by　Mary；　and　
inclined　to　side　with　her　and　against　each　other；　partly；　
perhaps；　because　of　her　youth。　The　feeling　that　she　controlled　
them　all　filled　Mary　with　a　sense　of　power；　and　
she　felt　that　no　work　can　equal　in　importance；　or　be　so　
exciting　as；　the　work　of　making　other　people　do　what　you　
want　them　to　do。　Indeed；　when　she　had　won　her　point　
she　felt　a　slight　degree　of　contempt　for　the　people　who　
had　yielded　to　her。　

The　mittee　now　rose；　gathered　together　their　papers；　
shook　them　straight；　placed　them　in　their　attache
cases；　snapped　the　locks　firmly　together；　and　hurried　away；　
having；　for　the　most　part；　to　catch　trains；　in　order　to　
keep　other　appointments　with　other　mittees；　for　they　

were　all　busy　people。　Mary；　Mrs。　Seal；　and　Mr。　Clacton　
were　left　alone；　the　room　was　hot　and　untidy；　the　pieces　
of　pink　blottingpaper　were　lying　at　different　angles　upon　
the　table；　and　the　tumbler　was　half　full　of　water；　which　
some　one　had　poured　out　and　forgotten　to　drink。　

Mrs。　Seal　began　preparing　the　tea；　while　Mr。　Clacton　
retired　to　his　room　to　file　the　fresh　accumulation　of　documents。　
Mary　was　too　much　excited　even　to　help　Mrs。　Seal　
with　the　cups　and　saucers。　She　flung　up　the　window　and　
stood　by　it；　looking　out。　The　street　lamps　were　already　
lit；　and　through　the　mist　in　the　square　one　could　see　
little　figures　hurrying　across　the　road　and　along　the　pavement；　
on　the　farther　side。　In　her　absurd　mood　of　lustful　
arrogance；　Mary　looked　at　the　little　figures　and　thought；　
“If　I　liked　I　could　make　you　go　in　there　or　stop　short；　I　
could　make　you　walk　in　single　file　or　in　double　file；　I　
could　do　what　I　liked　with　you。”　Then　Mrs。　Seal　came　and　
stood　by　her。　

“Oughtn’t　you　to　put　something　round　your　shoulders；　
Sally？”　Mary　asked；　in　rather　a　condescending　tone　of　
voice；　feeling　a　sort　of　pity　for　the　enthusiastic　ineffec


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Night　and　Day　

tive　little　woman。　But　Mrs。　Seal　paid　no　attention　to　the　
suggestion。　

“Well；　did　you　enjoy　yourself？”　Mary　asked；　with　a　little　
laugh。　

Mrs。　Seal　drew　a　deep　breath；　restrained　herself；　and　
then　burst　out；　looking　out；　too；　upon　Russell　Square　
and　Southampton　Row；　and　at　the　passersby；　“Ah；　if　only　
one　could　get　every　one　of　those　people　into　this　room；　
and　make　them　understand　for　five　minutes！　But　they　
must　see　the　truth　some　day…　。　If　only　one　could　MAKE　
them　see　it…　。”　

Mary　knew　herself　to　be　very　much　wiser　than　Mrs。　Seal；　
and　when　Mrs。　Seal　said　anything；　even　if　it　was　what　Mary　
herself　was　feeling；　she　automatically　thought　of　all　that　
there　was　to　be　said　against　it。　On　this　occasion　her　arrogant　
feeling　that　she　could　direct　everybody　dwindled　away。　

“Let’s　have　our　tea；”　she　said；　turning　back　from　the　
window　and　pulling　down　the　blind。　“It　was　a　good　meeting—
didn’t　you　think　so；　Sally？”　she　let　fall；　casually；　as　
she　sat　down　at　the　table。　Surely　Mrs。　Seal　must　realize　
that　Mary　had　been　extraordinarily　efficient？　

“But　we　go　at　such　a　snail’s　pace；”　said　Sally；　shaking　
her　head　impatiently。　

At　this　Mary　burst　out　laughing；　and　all　her　arrogance　
was　dissipated。　

“You　can　afford　to　laugh；”　said　Sally；　with　another　shake　
of　her　head；　“but　I　can’t。　I’m　fiftyfive；　and　I　dare　say　I　
shall　be　in　my　grave　by　the　time　we　get　it—if　we　ever　do。”　

“Oh；　no；　you　won’t　be　in　your　grave；”　said　Mary；　kindly。　

“It’ll　be　such　a　great　day；”　said　Mrs。　Seal；　with　a　toss　of　
her　locks。　“A　great　day；　not　only　for　us；　but　for　civilization。　
That’s　what　I　feel；　you　know；　about　these　meetings。　
Each　one　of　them　is　a　step　onwards　in　the　great　march—　
humanity；　you　know。　We　do　want　the　people　after　us　to　
have　a　better　time　of　it—and　so　many　don’t　see　it。　I　
wonder　how　it　is　that　they　don’t　see　it？”　

She　was　carrying　plates　and　cups　from　the　cupboard　as　
she　spoke；　so　that　her　sentences　were　more　than　usually　
broken　apart。　Mary　could　not　help　looking　at　the　odd　
little　priestess　of　humanity　with　something　like　admiration。　
While　she　had　been　thinking　about　herself；　Mrs。　
Seal　had　thought　of　nothing　but　her　vision。　

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Virginia　Woolf　

“You　mustn’t　wear　yourself　out；　Sally；　if　you　want　to　
see　the　great　day；”　she　said；　rising　and　trying　to　take　a　
plate　of　biscuits　from　Mrs。　Seal’s　hands。　

“My　dear　child；　what　else　is　my　old　body　good　for？”　she　
exclaimed；　clinging　more　tightly　than　before　to　her　plate　
of　biscuits。　“Shouldn’t　I　be　proud　to　give　everything　I　
have　to　the　cause？—for　I’m　not　an　intelligence　like　you。　
There　were　domestic　circumstances—I’d　like　to　tell　you　
one　of　these　days—so　I　say　foolish　things。　I　lose　my　
head；　you　know。　You　don’t。　Mr。　Clacton　doesn’t。　It’s　a　
great　mistake；　to　lose　one’s　head。　But　my　heart’s　in　the　
right　place。　And　I’m　so　glad　Kit　has　a　big　dog；　for　I　didn’t　
think　her　looking　well。”　

They　had　their　tea；　and　went　over　many　of　the　points　
that　had　been　raised　in　the　mittee　rather　more　intimately　
than　had　been　possible　then；　and　they　all　felt　an　
agreeable　sense　of　being　in　some　way　behind　the　scenes；　
of　having　their　hands　upon　strings　which；　when　pulled；　
would　pletely　change　the　pageant　exhibited　daily　to　
those　who　read　the　newspapers。　Although　their　views　were　
very　different；　this　sense　united　them　and　made　them　

almost　cordial　in　their　manners　to　each　other。　

Mary；　however；　left　the　teaparty　rather　early；　desiring　
both　to　be　alone；　and　then　to　hear　some　music　at　the　
Queen’s　Hall。　She　fully　intended　to　use　her　loneliness　to　
think　out　her　position　with　regard　to　Ralph；　but　although　
she　walked　back　to　the　Strand　with　this　end　in　view；　she　
found　her　mind　unfortably　full　of　different　trains　of　
thought。　She　started　one　and　then　another。　They　seemed　
even　to　take　their　color　from　the　street　she　happened　to　
be　in。　Thus　the　vision　of　humanity　appeared　to　be　in　
some　way　connected　with　Bloomsbury；　and　faded　distinctly　
by　the　time　she　crossed　the　main　road；　then　a　
belated　organgrinder　in　Holborn　set　her　thoughts　dancing　
incongruously；　and　by　the　time　she　was　crossing　the　
great　misty　square　of　Lincoln’s　Inn　Fields；　she　was　cold　
and　depressed　again；　and　horribly　clearsighted。　The　dark　
removed　the　stimulus　of　human　panionship；　and　a　
tear　actually　slid　down　her　cheek；　acpanying　a　sudden　
conviction　within　her　that　she　loved　Ralph；　and　that　
he　didn’t　love　her。　All　dark　and　empty　now　was　the　path　
where　they　had　walked　that　morning；　and　the　sparrows　

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Night　and　Day　

silent　in　the　bare　trees。　But　the　lights　in　her　own　building　
soon　cheered　her；　all　these　different　states　of　mind　
were　submerged　in　the　deep　flood　of　desires；　thoughts；　
perceptions；　antagonisms；　which　washed　perpetually　at　
the　base　of　her　being；　to　rise　into　prominence　in　turn　
when　the　conditions　of　the　upper　world　were　favorable。　
She　put　off　the　hour　of　clear　thought　until　Christmas；　
saying　to　herself；　as　she　lit　her　fire；　that　it　is　impossible　
to　think　anything　out　in　London；　and；　no　doubt；　Ralph　
wouldn’t　e　at　Christmas；　and　she　would　take　long　
walks　into　the　heart　of　the　country；　and　decide　this　question　
and　all　the　others　that　puzzled　her。　Meanwhile；　she　
thought；　drawing　her　feet　up　on　to　th