the days of my life-µÚ16ÕÂ
°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡
o¡¡on¡£
Then¡¡he¡¡retired¡£¡¡Presently¡¡the¡¡warriors¡¡arrived¡¡in¡¡panies¡¡singing¡¡a¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡solemn¡¡chant¡£¡¡Each¡¡man¡¡was¡¡dressed¡¡in¡¡his¡¡fierce£»¡¡fantastic¡¡war¡dress¡£¡¡One¡¡half¡¡wore¡¡heron¡¡plumes£»¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡long¡¡black¡¡plumes£»¡¡each¡¡pany¡¡had¡¡a¡¡leader¡¡and¡¡a¡¡separate¡¡pattern¡¡of¡¡shield¡£¡¡They¡¡formed¡¡themselves¡¡into¡¡a¡¡half¡square¡¡looking¡¡very¡¡fierce¡¡and¡¡imposing¡£¡¡Each¡¡pany¡¡as¡¡it¡¡arrived¡¡caught¡¡up¡¡the¡¡solemn¡¡war¡chant£»¡¡which¡¡was¡¡sung¡¡in¡¡perfect¡¡time¡¡and¡¡was¡¡the¡¡most¡¡impressive¡¡thing¡¡I¡¡ever¡¡heard¡£
As¡¡the¡¡chief¡¡came¡¡up¡¡attended¡¡by¡¡his¡¡bodyguard¡¡it¡¡grew¡¡louder¡¡and¡¡louder£»¡¡till¡¡it¡¡swelled¡¡to¡¡a¡¡regular¡¡paean£»¡¡when¡¡the¡¡old¡¡man£»¡¡fired¡¡with¡¡martial¡¡ardour£»¡¡flung¡¡off¡¡the¡¡attendants¡¡who¡¡supported¡¡him£»¡¡and¡¡forgetting¡¡his¡¡age¡¡and¡¡weakness¡¡ran¡¡to¡¡the¡¡head¡¡of¡¡his¡¡warriors¡£¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡never¡¡forget¡¡the¡¡sight¡£
The¡¡Governor¡¡drew¡¡near¡¡and¡¡was¡¡met¡¡with¡¡the¡¡royal¡¡salute¡¡accorded¡¡only¡¡to¡¡Cetewayo£»¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Shepstone¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Governor¡¡of¡¡Natal¡¡¡ª¡¡in¡¡itself¡¡imposing¡¡when¡¡pronounced¡¡by¡¡a¡¡great¡¡number£»¡¡¡°Bayete£»¡¡Bayete£¡¡±
The¡¡dance¡¡then¡¡menced¡¡and¡¡was¡¡a¡¡wonderful¡¡performance¡£¡¡pany¡¡after¡¡pany¡¡charged¡¡past¡¡looking¡¡for¡¡all¡¡the¡¡world¡¡like¡¡great¡¡fierce¡¡birds¡¡swooping¡¡on¡¡their¡¡prey¡£¡¡Assegais¡¡extended¡¡and¡¡shields¡¡on¡¡high£»¡¡they¡¡flitted¡¡backwards¡¡and¡¡forwards£»¡¡acpanying¡¡every¡¡moment¡¡with¡¡a¡¡shrill¡¡hiss¡¡something¡¡like¡¡the¡¡noise¡¡which¡¡thousands¡¡of¡¡angry¡¡snakes¡¡would¡¡make£»¡¡only¡¡shriller£»¡¡a¡¡sound¡¡impossible¡¡to¡¡describe¡¡but¡¡not¡¡easy¡¡to¡¡forget¡£¡¡It¡¡would¡¡vary£º¡¡¡ª¡¡now¡¡it¡¡is¡¡a¡¡troop¡¡of¡¡lions£»¡¡now¡¡a¡¡pack¡¡of¡¡wild¡¡dogs¡¡hounding¡¡their¡¡prey¡¡to¡¡death¡£
Then¡¡forth¡¡leaped¡¡warrior¡¡after¡¡warrior£º¡¡advanced£»¡¡challenged£»¡¡leapt¡¡five¡¡feet¡¡into¡¡the¡¡air£»¡¡was¡¡down£»¡¡was¡¡up£»¡¡was¡¡between¡¡his¡¡own¡¡legs£»¡¡was¡¡anywhere¡¡and¡¡everywhere£»¡¡and¡¡was¡¡met¡¡with¡¡this¡¡sibilating¡¡applause¡¡which¡¡rose¡¡and¡¡fell¡¡and¡¡rose¡¡again£»¡¡but¡¡always¡¡in¡¡perfect¡¡time¡£
By¡¡this¡¡time¡¡they¡¡were¡¡well¡¡excited£»¡¡even¡¡the¡¡little¡¡boys¡¡of¡¡the¡¡tribe¡¡had¡¡got¡¡shields¡¡and¡¡joined¡¡themselves¡¡on¡¡at¡¡the¡¡end£»¡¡while¡¡the¡¡beauties£»¡¡and¡¡some¡¡of¡¡them¡¡were¡¡not¡¡unworthy¡¡of¡¡the¡¡name£»¡¡took¡¡hold¡¡of¡¡long¡¡branches¡¡and¡¡went¡¡undulating¡¡about¡¡£¨the¡¡only¡¡word¡¡to¡¡describe¡¡their¡¡motion£©¡¡urging¡¡the¡¡warriors¡¡on¡£
Presently¡¡forth¡¡sprang¡¡the¡¡heir¡apparent£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡a¡¡moment¡¡the¡¡air¡¡was¡¡filled¡¡with¡¡this¡¡fierce¡¡sibilation¡¡and¡¡every¡¡warrior¡¡roused¡¡into¡¡wild¡¡activity¡£
It¡¡was¡¡a¡¡splendidly¡¡barbaric¡¡sight¡£¡¡The¡¡singing¡¡was¡¡the¡¡finest¡¡part¡¡of¡¡it¡£¡¡The¡¡last¡¡royal¡¡salute¡¡was¡¡also¡¡imposing£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡made¡¡by¡¡striking¡¡the¡¡assegais¡¡on¡¡the¡¡shield¡£¡¡It¡¡mences¡¡with¡¡a¡¡low¡¡murmur¡¡like¡¡that¡¡of¡¡the¡¡sea£»¡¡growing¡¡louder¡¡and¡¡louder¡¡till¡¡it¡¡sounds¡¡like¡¡far¡off¡¡thunder£»¡¡and¡¡ending¡¡with¡¡a¡¡quick¡¡sharp¡¡rattle¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£
In¡¡a¡¡letter¡¡dated¡¡July¡¡6£»¡¡1876£»¡¡I¡¡say£º
¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡I¡¡stopped¡¡three¡¡days¡¡in¡¡Durban¡¡and¡¡enjoyed¡¡the¡¡change¡¡very¡¡much£»¡¡as¡¡it¡¡was¡¡the¡¡first¡¡holiday¡¡I¡¡have¡¡had¡¡with¡¡the¡¡exception¡¡of¡¡a¡¡week¡¡when¡¡I¡¡was¡¡sick¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡There¡¡is¡¡somewhat¡¡stirring¡¡news¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Transvaal¡¡telling¡¡of¡¡the¡¡first¡¡skirmish¡¡between¡¡the¡¡Boers¡¡and¡¡Secocoeni£»¡¡a¡¡native¡¡chief¡¡of¡¡very¡¡considerable¡¡power¡£¡¡If¡¡the¡¡Boers¡¡have¡¡to¡¡deal¡¡with¡¡him¡¡alone¡¡they¡¡will¡¡be¡¡all¡¡right£»¡¡though¡¡there¡¡will¡¡very¡¡likely¡¡be¡¡a¡¡good¡¡deal¡¡of¡¡bloodshed¡£¡¡But¡¡Secocoeni¡¡is¡¡a¡¡tributary¡¡of¡¡and¡¡allied¡¡to¡¡Cetewayo¡¡the¡¡Zulu¡¡king£»¡¡who¡¡has¡¡of¡¡late¡¡been¡¡on¡¡the¡¡worst¡¡of¡¡terms¡¡with¡¡the¡¡Boers£»¡¡so¡¡that¡¡it¡¡is¡¡more¡¡than¡¡probable¡¡that¡¡he¡¡and¡¡his¡¡thirty¡¡thousand¡¡armed¡¡men¡¡supposed¡¡to¡¡be¡¡hovering¡¡like¡¡a¡¡thunder¡cloud¡¡on¡¡the¡¡borders¡¡of¡¡Natal£»¡¡will¡¡take¡¡an¡¡opportunity¡¡to¡¡have¡¡a¡¡shot¡¡at¡¡them¡¡too£º¡¡if¡¡he¡¡doesn¡¯t¡¡he¡¡is¡¡a¡¡greater¡¡fool¡¡than¡¡¡°Cetewayo¡¡the¡¡Silent¡±¡¡is¡¡generally¡¡supposed¡¡to¡¡be¡£
On¡¡the¡¡other¡¡side¡¡of¡¡them£»¡¡too£»¡¡are¡¡the¡¡Amaswazi£»¡¡numerically¡¡as¡¡strong¡¡as¡¡the¡¡Zulus¡¡and¡¡their¡¡nominal¡¡tributaries¡£¡¡These¡¡have¡¡hitherto¡¡been¡¡friendly¡¡with¡¡the¡¡Boers£»¡¡not¡¡from¡¡any¡¡natural¡¡affection¡¡but¡¡to¡¡protect¡¡themselves¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Zulus¡¡who¡¡are¡¡braver¡¡and¡¡more¡¡warlike¡¡than¡¡they¡£¡¡But¡¡that¡¡friendly¡¡feeling¡¡has¡¡been¡¡shaken¡¡and¡¡I¡¡hear¡¡that¡¡the¡¡Amaswazi¡¡contingent¡¡counted¡¡on¡¡by¡¡the¡¡Boers¡¡to¡¡help¡¡them¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Secocoeni¡¡business¡¡has¡¡not¡¡arrived¡£¡¡If¡¡they¡¡patch¡¡up¡¡their¡¡differences¡¡with¡¡the¡¡Zulus¡¡and¡¡a¡¡united¡¡attack¡¡is¡¡made¡¡by¡¡this¡¡threefold¡¡power£»¡¡Lord¡¡help¡¡the¡¡Dutch£¡¡¡War¡¡here¡¡between¡¡white¡¡and¡¡black¡¡is¡¡a¡¡terrible¡¡thing¡£¡¡No¡¡quarter¡¡is¡¡given¡¡and¡¡none¡¡is¡¡asked¡£¡¡But¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡know¡¡more¡¡about¡¡the¡¡business¡¡tomorrow¡¡when¡¡the¡¡Transvaal¡¡mail¡¡arrives¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£
In¡¡my¡¡next¡¡letter£»¡¡dated¡¡6th¡¡October£»¡¡I¡¡talk¡¡of¡¡articles¡¡which¡¡I¡¡am¡¡writing£»¡¡and¡¡add¡¡in¡¡a¡¡solemn¡¡postscript£º¡¡¡°Don¡¯t¡¡say¡¡anything¡¡to¡¡anybody¡¡about¡¡my¡¡having¡¡written¡¡things¡¡in¡¡magazines¡£¡±¡¡Evidently¡¡the¡¡cacoethes¡¡scribendi¡¡had¡¡already¡¡taken¡¡hold¡¡of¡¡me¡£¡¡Also¡¡I¡¡say£º
The¡¡war¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Transvaal¡¡is¡¡at¡¡a¡¡dead¡¡stop¡¡for¡¡the¡¡present¡£¡¡The¡¡Conference¡¡in¡¡London¡¡seems¡¡to¡¡be¡¡rather¡¡a¡¡lopsided¡¡affair£º¡¡our¡¡delegates¡¡and¡¡Brand¡¡appear¡¡to¡¡be¡¡settling¡¡the¡¡affairs¡¡of¡¡South¡¡Africa¡¡between¡¡them¡£¡¡I¡¡am¡¡delighted¡¡to¡¡see¡¡that¡¡they¡¡have¡¡given¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Shepstone¡¡the¡¡K¡£C¡£M¡£G¡£¡¡It¡¡is£»¡¡I¡¡imagine£»¡¡rarely¡¡so¡¡well¡¡deserved¡£¡¡I¡¡got¡¡a¡¡letter¡¡from¡¡him¡¡the¡¡other¡¡day£»¡¡he¡¡seems¡¡very¡¡pleased¡¡with¡¡England¡¡generally¡£
From¡¡the¡¡next¡¡surviving¡¡letter£»¡¡dated¡¡December¡¡2£»¡¡1876£»¡¡I¡¡gather¡¡that¡¡Sir¡¡Henry¡¡Bulwer¡¡at¡¡this¡¡time¡¡was¡¡not¡¡quite¡¡pleased¡¡at¡¡Sir¡¡Theophilus¡¡Shepstone¡¯s¡¡request¡¡that¡¡I¡¡should¡¡acpany¡¡him¡¡on¡¡his¡¡special¡¡mission¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Transvaal¡£¡¡However£»¡¡ultimately¡¡the¡¡thing¡¡was¡¡arranged¡£¡¡I¡¡say£º
He¡¡£§i¡£e¡£¡¡Shepstone£§¡¡wants¡¡me¡¡to¡¡e¡¡with¡¡him¡¡for¡¡two¡¡reasons¡£¡¡First£»¡¡we¡¡are¡¡very¡¡good¡¡friends¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡kind¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡say¡¡he¡¡wished¡¡to¡¡have¡¡me¡¡as¡¡a¡¡panion¡£¡¡Second£»¡¡I¡¡imagine¡¡there¡¡will¡¡be¡¡a¡¡good¡¡deal¡¡of¡¡what¡¡is¡¡called¡¡the¡¡champagne¡¡and¡¡sherry¡¡policy¡¡up¡¡at¡¡Pretoria¡¡and¡¡he¡¡wants¡¡somebody¡¡to¡¡look¡¡after¡¡the¡¡entertaining¡£¡¡It¡¡will¡¡be¡¡a¡¡most¡¡interesting¡¡business¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£¡¡¡£
This¡¡seems¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡last¡¡epistle¡¡that¡¡can¡¡be¡¡found¡¡of¡¡those¡¡which¡¡I¡¡wrote¡¡from¡¡Natal£»¡¡so¡¡I¡¡will¡¡return¡¡to¡¡my¡¡manuscript£»¡¡which¡¡now¡¡continues¡¡as¡¡I¡¡set¡¡it¡¡down¡¡before¡¡their¡¡discovery¡£
At¡¡Maritzburg¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡good¡¡deal¡¡of¡¡gaiety¡¡and¡¡entertaining¡¡at¡¡Government¡¡House£»¡¡with¡¡which£»¡¡as¡¡Sir¡¡Henry¡¡was¡¡unmarried£»¡¡I¡¡had¡¡much¡¡to¡¡do¡£¡¡In¡¡connection¡¡with¡¡one¡¡of¡¡our¡¡dinner¡parties¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡an¡¡incident¡¡which¡¡shows¡¡that¡¡Sir¡¡Henry¡¡knew¡¡how¡¡to¡¡escape¡¡from¡¡a¡¡dilemma¡£¡¡By¡¡some¡¡chance¡¡there¡¡had¡¡been¡¡invited¡¡the¡¡Roman¡¡Catholic¡¡bishop¡¡£¨I¡¡think¡¡his¡¡name¡¡was¡¡Jolivet£©£»¡¡a¡¡dean¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Church¡¡of¡¡England£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡very¡¡shining¡¡Nonconformist¡¡light¡£¡¡Generally¡¡it¡¡was¡¡Sir¡¡Henry¡¯s¡¡custom¡¡if¡¡a¡¡clergyman¡¡were¡¡present¡¡to¡¡ask¡¡him¡¡to¡¡say¡¡Grace£»¡¡but¡¡on¡¡this¡¡occasion£»¡¡realising¡¡the¡¡difficulty¡¡of¡¡the¡¡situation£»¡¡he¡¡passed¡¡that¡¡duty¡¡on¡¡to¡¡me¡£
¡°Haggard£»¡±¡¡he¡¡said¡¡in¡¡a¡¡reproachful¡¡voice£»¡¡which¡¡suggested¡¡that¡¡I¡¡was¡¡neglecting¡¡my¡¡business£»¡¡¡°will¡¡you¡¡be¡¡so¡¡good¡¡as¡¡to¡¡ask¡¡someone¡¡to¡¡say¡¡Grace£¿¡±
I¡¡worked¡¡out¡¡the¡¡position¡¡rapidly¡¡in¡¡my¡¡mind¡¡and£»¡¡ing¡¡to¡¡the¡¡conclusion¡¡that¡¡one¡¡should¡¡stick¡¡to¡¡one¡¯s¡¡own¡¡people£»¡¡ignored¡¡the¡¡Roman¡¡Catholic¡¡bishop¡¡and¡¡went¡¡for¡¡the¡¡dean¡£
Talking¡¡of¡¡deans¡¡reminds¡¡me¡¡of¡¡Bishop¡¡Colenso£»¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡used¡¡to¡¡meet¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡a¡¡tall£»¡¡able¡¡and¡¡agreeable¡¡man¡¡with¡¡a¡¡most¡¡interesting¡¡face£»¡¡but¡¡one¡¡who¡¡was¡¡desperately¡¡at¡¡loggerheads¡¡with¡¡everybody¡£¡¡Ecclesiastically¡¡his¡¡position¡¡was¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡in¡¡effect¡¡been¡¡exmunicated¡¡by¡¡the¡¡other¡¡South¡¡African¡¡bishops¡¡on¡¡account¡¡of¡¡his¡¡views¡¡as¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Pentateuch£»¡¡etc¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡appealed¡¡however¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Privy¡¡Council£»¡¡which¡¡disallowed¡¡the¡¡authority¡¡of¡¡the¡¡African¡¡bishops£»¡¡so¡¡that¡¡he¡¡remained¡¡the¡¡legal¡¡bishop¡¡of¡¡Natal¡£¡¡A¡¡schism¡¡ensued¡¡and¡¡the¡¡opposition¡¡orthodox¡¡party¡¡appointed¡¡a¡¡bishop¡¡of¡¡their¡¡own£»¡¡Macrorie¡¡by¡¡name¡£
It¡¡always¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡me¡¡somewhat¡¡illogical¡¡that¡¡Colenso¡¡should¡¡wish¡¡to¡¡remain¡¡in¡¡a¡¡Church¡¡of¡¡which¡¡he¡¡criticised¡¡the¡¡tes£»¡¡on¡¡the¡¡principle¡¡that¡¡one¡¡should¡¡scarcely¡¡eat¡¡the¡¡bread¡¡and¡¡butter¡¡of¡¡those¡¡whom¡¡one¡¡attacks¡£¡¡On¡¡the¡¡other¡¡hand¡¡the¡¡views¡¡that¡¡Colenso¡¡held¡¡forty¡¡years¡¡ago¡¡¡ª¡¡which£»¡¡by¡¡the¡¡way£»¡¡were¡¡suggested¡¡to¡¡him¡¡by¡¡the¡¡extraordinarily¡¡acute¡¡questions¡¡put¡¡by¡¡Zulus¡¡whom¡¡we¡¡tried¡¡to¡¡convert¡¡to¡¡Christianity¡¡¡ª¡¡are¡¡widespread¡¡today£»¡¡even¡¡among¡¡clergymen¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡in¡¡advance¡¡of¡¡his¡¡generation£»¡¡and¡¡like¡¡others¡¡suffered¡¡for¡¡it£»¡¡that¡¡is¡¡all¡£¡¡If¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡right£»¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡great¡¡causes¡¡of¡¡the¡¡animosity¡¡of¡¡the¡¡South¡¡African¡¡Episcopal¡¡Church¡¡against¡¡him¡¡was¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡said¡¡to¡¡look¡¡leniently¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡native¡¡practice¡¡of¡¡polygamy¡£¡¡But¡¡here¡¡again¡¡there¡¡is¡¡much¡¡to¡¡be¡¡said¡¡on¡¡Colenso¡¯s¡¡side¡£¡¡Many¡¡people¡¡find¡¡it¡¡difficult¡¡to¡¡understand¡¡why¡¡it¡¡is¡¡more¡¡essentially¡¡immoral¡¡to¡¡marry¡¡several¡¡wives¡¡than¡¡to¡¡marry¡¡one£»¡¡provided¡¡that¡¡they¡¡are¡¡married¡¡and£»¡¡except¡¡for¡¡good¡¡reason¡¡of¡¡divorce£»¡¡supported¡¡to¡¡their¡¡lives¡¯¡¡en