高山上的呼喊-go tell it on the mountain-第24章
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one made enough folks pay for sin;it’s time you started paying。’
‘What you think;’ he asked; ‘you going to be able to do—against me?’
‘Maybe;’ she said; ‘I ain’t long for this world; but I got this letter; and I’m sure going togive it to Elizabeth before I go; and if she don’t want it; I’m going to find some way—some way; Idon’t know how—to rise up and tell it; tell everybody; about the blood the Lord’s anointed id goton his hands。’
‘I done told you;’ he said; ‘that’s all done and finished; the Lord done give me a sign tomake me know I been forgiven。 What good you think it’s going to do to start talking about itnow?’
‘It’ll make Elizabeth to know;’ she said; ‘that she ain’t the only sinner … in your holyhouse。 And little Johnny; there—he’ll know he ain’t the only bastard。’
Then he turned again; and looked at her with hatred in his eyes。
‘You ain’t never changed;’ he said。 ‘You still waiting to see my downfall。 You just aswicked now as you was when you was young。’
She put the letter in her bag again。
‘No;’ she said; ‘I ain’t changed。 You ain’t changed neither。 You still promising the Lordyou going to do better—and you think whatever you done already; whatever you doing right at thatminute; don’t count。 Of all the men I ever knew; you’s the man who ought to be hoping the Bible’sall a lie—’cause if that trumpet ever sounds; you going to spend eternity talking。’
They had reached her corner。 She stopped; and he stopped with her; and she stared into hishaggard; burning face。
‘I got to take my underground;’ she said。 ‘You got anything you want to say to me?’
‘I been living a long time;’ he said; ‘and I ain’t never seen nothing but evil overtake theenemies of the Lord。 You think you going to use that letter to hurt me—but the Lord ain’t going tolet it e to pass。 You going to be cut down。’
The praying women approached them; Elizabeth in the middle。
‘Deborah;’ Florence said; ‘was cut down—but she left word。 She weren’t no enemy ofnobody—and she didn’t see nothing but evil。 When I go; brother; you better tremble; ’cause I ain’tgoing to go in silence。’
And; while they stared at each other; saying nothing more; the praying women were uponthem。
Now the long; the silent avenue stretched before them like some gray country of the dead。 Itscarcely seemed that he had walked this avenue only (as time was reckoned up by men) some fewhours ago; that he had known this avenue since his eyes had opened on the dangerous world; thathe had played here; wept here; fled; fallen down; and been bruised here—in that time; so farbehind him; of his innocence and anger。
Yes; on the evening of the seventh day; when; raging; he had walked out of his father’shouse; this avenue had been filled with shouting people。 The light of the day had begun to fail—the wind was high; and the tall lights; one by one; and then all together; had lifted up their headsagainst the darkness—while he hurried to the temple。 Had he been mocked; had anyone spoken; orlaughed; or called? He could not remember。 He had been walking in a storm。
Now the storm was over。 And the avenue; like any landscape that has endured a storm; laychanged under Heaven; exhausted and clean; and new。 Not again; for ever; could it return to theavenue it once had been。 Fire; or lightening; or the latter rain; ing down from these skies whichmoved with such pale secrecy above him now; had laid yesterday’s avenue waste; had changed itin a moment; in the twinkling of an eye; as all would be changed on the last day; when the skieswould open up once more to gather up the saints。
Yet the houses were there; as they had been; the windows; like a thousand; blinded eyes;stared outward at the morning—at the morning that was the same for them as the mornings ofJohn’s innocence; and the mornings before his birth。 The water run in the gutters with a small;discontented sound; on the water traveled paper; burnt matches; sodden cigarette…ends; gobs ofspittle; green…yellow; brown; and pearly; the leaving of a dog; the vomit of a drunken man; thedead sperm; trapped in rubber; of one abandoned to his lust。 All moved slowly to the black gratingwhere down it rushed; to be carried to the river; which would hurl it into the sea。
Where houses were; where windows stared; where gutters ran; were people—sleeping now;invisible; private; in the heavy darkness of these houses; while the Lord’s day broke outside。 WhenJohn should walk these streets again; they would be shouting here again; the roar of children’sroller skates would bear down on him from behind; little girls in pigtails; skipping rope; wouldestablish on the pavement a barricade through which he must stumble as best he might。 Boyswould be throwing ball in these streets again—they would look at him; and call:
‘Hey; Frog…eyes!’
Men would be standing on corners again; watching him pass; girls would be sitting onstoops again; mocking his walk。 Grandmothers would stare out of windows; saying:
‘That sure is a sorry little boy。’
He would weep again; his heart insisted; for now his weeping had begun; he would rageagain; said the shifting air; for the lions of rage had been unloosed; he would be in darkness again;in fire again; now that he had seen the fire and the darkness。 He was free—whom the Son sets freeis free indeed—he had only to stand fast in his liberty。 He was in battle no longer; this unfoldingLord’s day; with this avenue; these houses; the sleeping; staring; shouting people; but had enteredinto battle with Jacob’s angel; with the princes and the powers of the air。 And he was filled with ajoy; a joy unspeakable; whose roots; though he would not trace then on this new day of his life;were nourished by the wellspring of a despair not yet discovered。 The joy of the Lord is thestrength of His people。 Where joy was; there strength followed; where strength was; sorrow came—for ever? For ever and for ever; said the arm of Elisha; heavy on his shoulder。 And John tried tosee through the morning wall; to stare past the bitter houses; to tear the thousand gray veils of thesky away; and look into that heart—the monstrous heart which beat for ever; turning the astoundeduniverse; manding the stars to flee away before the sun’s red sandal; bidding the moon to waxand wane; and disappear; and e again; with a silver holding back the sea; and out ofmysteries abysmal; re…creating; each day; the earth。 That heart; that breath; without which was notanything made which was made。 Tears came into his eyes again; making the avenue shiver;causing the houses to shake—his heart swelled; lifted up; faltered; and was dumb。 Out of joystrength came; strength that was fashioned to bear sorrow; sorrow brought forth joy。 For ever? Thiswas Ezekiel’s wheel; in the middle of the burning air for ever—and the little wheel ran by faith;and the big wheel ran by the grace of God。
‘Elisha?’ he said。
‘If you ask Him to bear you up;’ said Elisha; as though he had read his thoughts; ‘He won’tnever let you fall。’
‘It was you;’ he said; ‘wasn’t it; who prayed me through?’
‘We was all praying; little brother;’ said Elisha; with a smile; ‘but yes; I was right over youthe whole time。 Look like the Lord had put you like a burden on my soul。’
‘Was I praying long?’ he asked。
Elisha laughed。 ‘Well; you started praying when it was night and you ain’t stopped prayingtill it was morning。 That’s a right smart time; it seems to me。’
John smiled; too; observing with some wonder that a saint of God could laugh。
‘Was you glad;’ he asked; ‘to see me at the altar?’
Then he wondered why he had asked this; and hoped Elisha would no think him foolish。
‘I was mighty glad;’ said Elisha soberly; ‘to see little Johnny lay his sins on the altar; layhis life on the altar and rise up; praising God。’
Something shivered in him as the word sin was spoken。 Tears sprang to his eyes again。
‘Oh;’ he said; ‘I pray God; I pray the Lord … to make me strong … to sanctify me wholly … andkeep me saved!’
‘Yes;’ said Elisha; ‘you keep that spirit; and I now the L