new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第67章
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acted this way。 〃What's it to
you？〃
He wrinkled his nose again like he smelled something unpleasant。 〃Where's your
'friend'？〃 I could hear
the quotation marks in his tone。
〃She had some errands to run。 Look； Jacob； what do you want？〃
Something about the room seemed to make him edgier—his long arms were
quivering。 He didn't answer
my question。 Instead he moved on to the kitchen； his restless eyes darting
everywhere。
I followed him。 He paced back and forth along the short counter。
〃Hey；〃 I said； putting myself in his way。 He stopped pacing and stared down at
me。 〃What's your
problem？〃
〃I don't like having to be here。〃
That stung。 I winced； and his eyes tightened。
〃Then I'm sorry you had to e；〃 I muttered。 〃Why don't you tell me what you
need so you can leave？〃
〃I just have to ask you a couple of questions。 It shouldn't take long。 We have
to get back for the funeral。〃
〃Okay。 Get it over with then。〃 I was probably overdoing it with the
antagonism； but I didn't want him to
see how much this hurt。 I knew I wasn't being fair。 After all； I'd picked the
bloodsucker over him last
night。 I'd hurt him first。
He took a deep breath； and his trembling fingers were suddenly still。 His face
smoothed into a serene
mask。
〃One of the Cullens is staying here with you；〃 he stated。
〃Yes。 Alice Cullen。〃
He nodded thoughtfully。 〃How long is she here for？〃
〃As long as she wants to be。〃 The belligerence was still there in my tone。
〃It's an open invitation。〃
〃Do you think you could please explain to her about the other one—
Victoria？〃
I paled。 〃I told her about that。〃
He nodded。 〃You should know that we can only watch our own lands with a Cullen
here。 You'll only be
safe in La Push。 I can't protect you here anymore。〃
〃Okay；〃 I said in a small voice。
He looked away then； out the back windows。 He didn't continue。
〃Is that all？〃
He kept his eyes on the glass as he answered。 〃Just one more thing。〃
I waited； but he didn't continue。 〃Yes？〃 I finally prompted。
〃Are the rest of them ing back now？〃 he asked in a cool； quiet voice。 It
reminded me of Sam's
always calm manner。 Jacob was being more like Sam I wondered why that
bothered me so much。
Now I didn't speak。 He looked back at my face with probing eyes。
〃Well？〃 he asked。 He struggled to conceal the tension behind his serene
expression。
〃No。〃 I said finally。 Grudgingly。 〃They aren't ing back。〃
His expression didn't change。 〃Okay。 That's all。〃
I glared at him； annoyance rekindled。 〃Well； run along now。 Go tell Sam that
the scary monsters aren't
ing to get you。〃
〃Okay；〃 he repeated； still calm。
That seemed to be it。 Jacob walked swiftly from the kitchen。 I waited to hear
the front door open； but I
heard nothing。 I could hear the clock over the stove ticking； and I marveled
again at how quiet he'd
bee。
What a disaster。 How could I have alienated him so pletely in such a short
amount of time？
Would he forgive me when Alice was gone？ What if he didn't？
I slumped against the counter and buried my face in my hands。 How had I made
such a mess of
everything？ But what could I have done differently？ Even in hindsight； I
couldn't think of any better way；
any perfect course of action。
〃Bella ？〃 Jacob asked in a troubled voice。
I pulled my face out of my hands to see Jacob hesitating in the kitchen
doorway； he hadn't left when I'd
thought。 It was only when I saw the clear drops sparkling in my hands that I
realized I was crying。
Jacob's calm expression was gone； his face was anxious and unsure。 He walked
quickly back to stand in
front of me； ducking his head so that his eyes were closer to being on the
same level with mine。
〃Did it again； didn't I？〃
〃Did what？〃 I asked； my voice cracking。
〃Broke my promise。 Sorry。〃
〃'S'okay；〃 I mumbled。 〃I started it this time。〃
His face twisted。 〃I knew how you felt about them。 It shouldn't have taken me
by surprise like that。〃
I could see the revulsion in his eyes。 I wanted to explain to him what Alice
was really like； to defend her
against the judgments he'd made； but something warned me that now was not the
time。
So I just said； 〃Sorry；〃 again。
〃Let's not worry about it； okay？ She's just visiting； right？ She'll leave； and
things will go back to normal。〃
〃Can't I be friends with you both at the same time？〃 I asked； my voice not
hiding an ounce of the hurt I
felt。
He shook his head slowly。 〃No； I don't think you can。〃
I sniffed and stared at his big feet。 〃But you'll wait； right？ You'll still be
my friend； even though I love
Alice； too？〃
I didn't look up； afraid to see what he'd think of that last part。 It took him
a minute to answer； so I was
probably right not to look。
〃Yeah； I'll always be your friend；〃 he said gruffly。 〃No matter what you
love。〃
〃Promise？〃
〃Promise。〃
I felt his arms wind around me； and I leaned against his chest； still
sniffling。 〃This sucks。〃
〃Yeah。〃 Then he sniffed my hair and said； 〃Ew。〃
〃What？〃 I demanded。 I looked up to see that his nose was wrinkled again。 〃Why
does everyone keep
doing that to me？ I don't smell！〃
He smiled a little。 〃Yes； you do—you smell like them。 Blech。 Too sweet—
sickly sweet。 And icy。 It
burns my nose。〃
〃Really？〃 That was strange。 Alice smelled unbelievably wonderful。 To a human；
anyway。 〃But why would
Alice think I smelled； too； then？〃
That wiped his smile away。 〃Huh。 Maybe I don't smell so good to her； either。
Huh。〃
〃Well； you both smell fine to me。〃 I rested my head against him again。 I was
going to miss him terribly
when he walked out my door。 It was a nasty catch…22—on the one hand； I wanted
Alice to stay forever。
I was going to die—metaphorically—when she left me。 But how was I supposed
to go without seeing
Jake for any length of time？ What a mess； I thought again。
〃I'll miss you；〃 Jacob whispered； echoing my thoughts。 〃Every minute。 I hope
she leaves soon。〃
〃It really doesn't have to be that way； Jake。〃
He sighed。 〃Yes； it really does。 Bella。 You love her。 So I'd better not get
anywhere near her。 I'm not
sure that I'm even…tempered enough to handle that。 Sam would be mad if I broke
the treaty； and〃—his
voice turned sarcastic—〃you probably wouldn't like it too much if I killed
your friend。〃
I recoiled from him when he said that； but he only tightened his arms；
refusing to let me escape。 〃There's
no point in avoiding the truth。 That's the way things are； Bells。〃
〃I do not like the way things are。〃
Jacob freed one arm so that he could cup his big brown hand under my chin and
make me look at him。
〃Yeah。 It was easier when we were both human； wasn't it？〃
I sighed。
We stared at each other for a long moment。 His hand smoldered against my skin。
In my face； I knew
there was nothing but wistful sadness—I didn't want to have to say goodbye
now； no matter for how
short a time。 At first his face reflected mine； but then； as neither of us
looked away； his expression
changed。
He released me； lifting his other hand to brush his fingertips along my cheek；
trailing them down to my
jaw。 I could feel his fingers tremble—not with anger this time。 He pressed
his palm against my cheek； so
that my face was trapped between his burning hands。
〃Bella；〃 he whispered。
I was frozen。
No！ I hadn't made this decision yet。 I didn't know if I could do this； and now
I was out of time to think。
But I would have been a fool if I thought rejecting him now would have no
consequences。
I stared back at him。 He was not my Jacob； but he could be。 His face was
familiar and beloved。 In so
many real ways； I did love him。 He was my fort； my safe harbor。 Right now；
I could choose to have
him belong to me。
Alice was back for the moment； but that changed nothing。 True love was forever
lost。 The prince was
never ing back to kiss me awake from my enchanted sleep。 I was not a
princess； after all。 So what
was the fairy…tale protocol for other kisses？ The mundane kind that didn't
break any spells？
Maybe it would be easy—like holding his hand or having his arms around me。
Maybe it would feel nice。
Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal。 Besides
