new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第47章
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〃I think I see a way to make this work out—because you know this； Bella！ I
can't tell you； but if you
guessed it！ That would let me right off the hook！〃
〃You want me to guess？ Guess what？〃
〃My secret！ You can do it—you know the answer！〃
I blinked twice； trying to clear my head。 I was so tired。 Nothing he said made
sense。
He took in my blank expression； and then his face tensed with effort again。
〃Hole on； let me see if I give
you some help；〃 he said。 Whatever he was trying to do； it was so hard he was
panting。
〃Help？〃 I asked； trying to keep up。 My lids wanted to slip closed； but I
forced them open。
〃Yeah；〃 he said； breathing hard。 〃Like clues。〃
He took my face in his enormous； too…warm hands and held it just a few inches
from his。 He stared into
my eyes while he whispered； as if to municate something besides the words
he spoke。
〃Remember the first day we met—on the beach in La Push？〃
〃Of course I do。〃
〃Tell me about it。〃
I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate。 〃You asked about my truck〃
He nodded； urging me on。
〃We talked about the Rabbit〃
〃Keep going。〃
〃We went for a walk down the beach〃 My cheeks were growing warm under his
palms as I
remembered； but he wouldn't notice； hot as his skin was。 I'd asked him to walk
with me； flirting ineptly
but successfully； in order to pump him for information。
He was nodding； anxious for more。
My voice was nearly soundless。 〃You told me scary stories Quileute legends。〃
He closed his eyes and opened them again。 〃Yes。〃 The word was tense； fervent；
like he was on the edge
of something vital。 He spoke slowly； making each word distinct。 〃Do you
remember what I said？〃
Even in the dark； he must be able to see the change in the color of my face。
How could I ever forget
that？ Without realizing what he was doing； Jacob had told me exactly what I
needed to know that
day—that Edward was a vampire。
He looked at me with eyes that knew too much。 〃Think hard；〃 he told me。
〃Yes； I remember；〃 I breathed。
He inhaled deeply； struggling。 〃Do you remember all the stor—〃 He couldn't
finish the question。 His
mouth popped open like something had stuck in his throat。
〃All the stories？〃 I asked。
He nodded mutely。
My head churned。 Only one story really mattered。 I knew he'd begun with
others； but I couldn't
remember the inconsequential prelude； especially not while my brain was so
clouded with exhaustion。 I
started to shake my head。
Jacob groaned and jumped off the bed。 He pressed his fists against his
forehead and breathed fast and
angry。 〃You know this； you know this；〃 he muttered to himself。
〃Jake？ Jake； please； I'm exhausted。 I'm no good at this right now。 Maybe in
the morning〃
He took a steadying breath and nodded。 〃Maybe it will e back to you。 I
guess I understand why you
only remember the one story；〃 he added in a sarcastic； bitter tone。 He plunked
back onto the mattress
beside me。 〃Do you mind if I ask you a question about that？〃 he asked； still
sarcastic。 〃I've been dying ro
know。〃
〃A question about what？〃 I asked warily。
〃About the vampire story I told you。〃
I stared at him with guarded eyes； unable to answer。 He asked his question
anyway。
〃Did you honestly not know？〃 he asked me； his voice turning husky。 〃Was I the
one who told you what
he was？〃
How did he know this？ Why did he decide to believe； why now？ My teeth clenched
together。 I stared
back at him； no intention of speaking。 He could see that。
〃See what I mean about loyalty？〃 he murmured； even huskier now。 〃It's the same
for me； only worse。
You can't imagine how tight I'm bound〃
I didn't like that—didn't like the way his eyes closed as if he were in pain
when he spoke of being bound。
More than dislike—I realized I hated it； hated anything that caused him pain。
Hated it fiercely。
Sam's face filled my mind。
For me； this was all essentially voluntary。 I protected the Cullens' secret
out of love； unrequited； but true。
For Jacob； it didn't seem to be that way。
〃Isn't there any way for you to get free？〃 I whispered； touching the rough
edge at the back of his shorn
hair。
His hands began to tremble； but he didn't open his eyes。 〃No。 I'm in this for
life。 A life sentence。〃 A bleak
laugh。 〃Longer； maybe。〃
〃No； Jake；〃 I moaned。 〃What if we ran away？ Just you and me。 What if we left
home； and left Sam
behind？〃
〃It's not something I can run away from； Bella；〃 he whispered。 〃I would run
with you； though； if I could。〃
His shoulders were shaking now； too。 He took a deep breath。 〃Look； I've got to
leave。〃
〃Why？〃
〃For one thing； you look like you're going to pass out at any second。 You need
your sleep—I need you
firing on all pistons。 You're going to figure this out； you have to。〃
〃And why else？〃
He frowned。 〃I had to sneak out—I'm not supposed to see you。 They've got to
be wondering where I
am。〃 His mouth twisted。 〃I suppose I should go let them know。〃
〃You don't have to tell them anything；〃 I hissed。
〃All the same； I will。〃
The anger flashed hot inside me。 〃I hate them！〃
Jacob looked at me with wide eyes； surprised。 〃No； Bella。 Don't hate the guys。
It's not Sam's or any of
the others' faults。 I told you before—it's me。 Sam is actually well；
incredibly cool。 Jared and Paul are
great； too； though Paul is kind of And Embry's always been my friend。
Nothing's changed there—the
only thing that hasn't changed。 I feel really bad abour the things I used to
think about Sam〃
〃Sam was incredibly cool。〃 I glared at him in disbelief； but let it go。
〃Then why aren't you supposed to see me？〃 I demanded。
〃It's not safe；〃 he mumbled looking down。
His words sent a thrill of fear through me。
Did he know that； too？ Nobody knew that besides me。 But he was right—it was
the middle of the night；
the perfect time for hunting。 Jacob shouldn't be here in my room。 If someone
came for me； I had ：o be
alone。
〃If I thought it was too too risky；〃 he whispered； 〃I wouldn't have e。
But Bella；〃 he looked at me
again； 〃I made you a promise。 I had no idea it would be so hard to keep； but
that doesn't mean I'm not
going to try。〃
He saw the inprehension in my face。 〃After that stupid movie；〃 he reminded
me。 〃I promised you that
I wouldn't ever hurt you So I really blew it this afternoon； didn't I？〃
〃I know you didn't want to do it； Jake。 It's okay。〃
〃Thanks； Bella。〃 He took my hand。 〃I'm going to do what I can to be here for
you； just like I promised。〃
He grinned at me suddenly。 The grin was not mine； nor Sam's； but some strange
bination of the two。
〃It would really help if you could figure this out on your own； Bella。 Put
some honest effort into it。〃
I made a weak grimace。 〃I'll try。〃
〃And I'll try to see you soon。〃 He sighed。 〃And they'll try to talk me out of
that。〃
〃Don't listen to them。〃
〃I'll try。〃 He shook his head； as if he doubted his success。 〃e and tell me
as soon as you figure it out。〃
Something occurred to him just then； something that made his hands shake。 〃If
you if you want to。〃
〃Why wouldn't I want to see you？〃
His face turned hard and bitter； one hundred percent the face that belonged to
Sam。 〃Oh； I can think of a
reason；〃 he said in a harsh tone。 〃Look； I really have to go。 Could you do
something for me？〃
I just nodded； frightened of the change in him。
〃At least call me—if you don't want to see me again。 Let me know if it's like
that。〃
〃That won't happen—〃
He raised one hand； cutting me off。 〃Just let me know。〃
He stood and headed for the window。
〃Don't be an idiot； Jake；〃 I plained。 〃You'll break your leg。 Use the door。
Charlie's not going to catch
you。〃
〃I won't get hurt；〃 he muttered； but he turned for the door。 He hesitated as
he passed me； staring at me
with an expression like something was stabbing him。 He held one hand out；
pleading。
I took his hand； and suddenly he yanked me—too roughly—right off the bed so
that I thudded against his
chest。
〃Just in case；〃 he muttered against my hair； crushing me in a bear hug that
about broke my ribs。
〃Can't—breathe！〃 I gasped。
He dropped me at once； keeping one hand at my waist so I didn't
