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第36章

new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第36章

小说: new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版) 字数: 每页3500字

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I'll pull over。〃 
〃Will you call me as soon as you get in?〃 I asked anxiously。 
〃Sure; sure。〃 He frowned; staring ahead into the darkness and biting his lip。 
I opened my door to get out; but he grabbed my wrist lightly and held me 
there。 I noticed again how hot 
his skin felt on mine。 
〃What is it; Jake?〃 I asked。 
〃There's something I want to tell you; Bella but I think it's going to sound 
kind of corny。〃 
I sighed。 This would be more of the same from the theater。 〃Go ahead。〃 
〃It's just that; I know how you're unhappy a lot。 And; maybe it doesn't help 
anything; but I wanted you to 
know that I'm always here。 I won't ever let you down—I promise that you can 
always count on me。 
Wow; that does sound corny。 But you know that; right? That I would never; ever 
hurt you?〃 
〃Yeah; Jake。 I know that。 And I already do count on you; probably more than 
you know。〃 
The smile broke across his face the way the sunrise set the clouds on fire; 
and I wanted to cut my tongue 
out。 I hadn't said one word that was a lie; but I should have lied。 The truth 
was wrong; it would hurt him。 
I would let him down。 
A strange look crossed his face。 〃I really think I'd better go home now;〃 he 
said。 
I got out quickly。 
〃Call me!〃 I yelled as he pulled away。 
I watched him go; and he seemed to be in control of the car; at least。 I 
stared at the empty street when he 
was gone; feeling a little sick myself; but not for any physical reason。 
How much I wished that Jacob Black had been born my brother; my flesh…and …
blood brother; so that I 
would have some legitimate claim on him that still left me free of any blame 
now。 Heaven knows I had 
never wanted to use Jacob; but I couldn't help but interpret the guilt I felt 
now to mean that I had。 
Even more; I had never meant to love him。 One thing I truly knew—knew it in 
the pit of my stomach; in 
the center of my bones; knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my 
feet; knew it deep in my 
empty chest—was how love gave someone the power to break you。 
I'd been broken beyond repair。 
But I needed Jacob now; needed him like a drug。 I'd used him as a crutch for 
too long; and I was in 
deeper than I'd planned to go with anyone again。 Now I couldn't bear for him 
to be hurt; and I couldn't 
keep from hurting him; either。 He thought time and patience would change me; 
and; though I knew he 
was dead wrong; I also knew that I would let him try。 
He was my best friend。 I would always love him; and it would never; ever be 
enough。 
I went inside to sit by the phone and bite my nails。 
〃Movie over already?〃 Charlie asked in surprise when I came in。 He was on the 
floor; just a foot from the 
TV。 Must be an exciting game。 
〃Mike got sick;〃 I explained。 〃Some kind of stomach flu。〃 
〃You okay?〃 
〃I feel fine now;〃 I said doubtfully。 Clearly; I'd been exposed。 
I leaned against the kitchen counter; my hand inches from the phone; and tried 
to wait patiently。 I thought 
of the strange look on Jacob's face before he drove away; and my fingers 
started drumming against the 
counter。 I should have insisted on driving him home。 
I watched the clock as the minutes ticked by Ten。 Fifteen。 Even when I was 
driving; it took only fifteen 
minutes; and Jacob drove faster than I did。 Eighteen minutes。 I picked up the 
phone and dialed。 
It rang and rang。 Maybe Billy was asleep。 Maybe I'd dialed wrong。 I tried 
again。 
On the eighth ring; just as I was about to hang up; Billy answered。 
〃Hello?〃 he asked。 His voice was wary; like he was expecting bad news。 
〃Billy; it's me; Bella—did Jake make it home yet? He left here about twenty 
minutes ago。〃 
〃He's here;〃 Billy said tonelessly。 
〃He was supposed to call me。〃 I was a little irritated。 〃He was getting sick 
when he left; and I was 
worried。〃 
〃He was too sick to call。 He's not feeling well right now。〃 Billy sounded 
distant。 I realized he must want 
to be with Jacob。 
〃Let me know if you need any help;〃 I offered。 〃I could e down。〃 I thought 
of Billy; stuck in his chair; 
and Jake fending for himself 
〃No; no;〃 Billy said quickly。 〃We're fine。 Stay at your place。〃 
The way he said it was almost rude。 
〃Okay;〃 I agreed。 
〃Bye; Bella。〃 
The line disconnected。 
〃Bye;〃 I muttered。 
Well; at least he'd made it home。 Oddly; I didn't feel less worried。 I trudged 
up the stairs; fretting。 Maybe 
I would go down before work tomorrow to check on him。 I could take soup—we 
had to have a can of 
Campbell's around here somewhere。 
I realized all such plans were canceled when I woke up early—my clock said 
four thirty—and sprinted to 
the bathroom。 Charlie found me there a half hour later; lying on the floor; my 
cheek pressed against the 
cold edge of the bathtub。 
He looked at me for a long moment。 
〃Stomach flu;〃 he finally said。 
〃Yes;〃 I moaned。 
〃You need something?〃 he asked。 
〃Call the Newtons for me; please;〃 I instructed hoarsely。 〃Tell them I have 
what Mike has; and that I 
can't make it in today。 Tell them I'm sorry。〃 
〃Sure; no problem;〃 Charlie assured me。 
I spent the rest of the day on the bathroom floor; sleeping for a few hours 
with my head on a crumpled 
up towel。 Charlie claimed that he had to work; but I suspected that he just 
wanted access to a bathroom。 
He left a glass of water on the floor beside me to keep me hydrated。 
It woke me up when he came back home。 I could see that it was dark in my room
—after nightfall。 He 
clumped up the stairs to check on me。 
〃Stillalive?〃 
〃Sort of;〃 I said。 
〃Do you want anything?〃 
〃No; thanks。〃 
He hesitated; clearly out of his element。 〃Okay; then;〃 he said; and then he 
went back down to the 
kitchen。 
I heard the phone ring a few minutes later。 Charlie spoke to someone in a low 
voice for a moment; and 
then hung up。 
〃Mike feels better;〃 he called up to me。 
Well; that was encouraging。 He'd only gotten sick eight hours or so before me。 
Eight more hours。 The 
thought made my stomach turn; and I pulled myself up to lean over the toilet。 
I fell asleep on the towel again; but when I woke up I was in my bed and it 
was light outside my window。 
I didn't remember moving; Charlie must have carried me to my room—he'd also 
put the glass of water on 
my bedside table。 I felt parched。 I chugged it down; though it tasted funny 
from sitting stagnant all night。 
I got up slowly; trying not to trigger the nausea again。 I was weak; and my 
mouth tasted horrible; but my 
stomach felt fine。 I looked at my clock。 
My twenty…four hours were up。 
I didn't push it; eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast。 Charlie 
looked relieved to see me 
recovered。 
As soon as I was sure that I wasn't going to have to spend the day on the 
bathroom floor again; I called 
Jacob。 
Jacob was the one who answered; but when I heard his greeting I knew he wasn't 
over it。 
〃Hello?〃 His voice was broken; cracking。 
〃Oh; Jake;〃 I groaned sympathetically。 〃You sound horrible。〃 
〃I feel horrible;〃 he whispered。 
〃I'm so sorry I made you go out with me。 This sucks。〃 
〃I'm glad I went。〃 His voice was still a whisper。 〃Don't blame yourself。 This 
isn't your fault。〃 
〃You'll get better soon;〃 I promised。 〃I woke up this morning; and I was 
fine。〃 
〃You were sick?〃 he asked dully。 
〃Yes; I got it; too。 But I'm fine now。〃 
〃That's good。〃 His voice was dead。 
〃So you'll probably be better in a few hours;〃 I encouraged。 
I could barely hear his answer。 〃I don't think I have the same thing you did。〃 
〃Don't you have the stomach flu?〃 I asked; confused。 
〃No。 This is something else。〃 
〃What's wrong with you?〃 
〃Everything;〃 he whispered。 〃Every part of me hurts。〃 
The pain in his voice was nearly tangible。 
〃What can I do; Jake? What can I bring you?〃 
〃Nothing。 You can't e here。〃 He was abrupt。 It reminded me of Billy the 
other night。 
〃I've already been exposed to whatever you have;〃 I pointed out。 
He ignored me。 〃I'll call you when I can。 I'll let you know when you can e 
down again。〃 
〃Jacob—〃 
〃I've got to go;〃 he said with sudden urgency。 
〃Call me when you feel better。〃 
〃Right;〃 he agreed; and his voice had a strange; bitter edge。 
He was silent for a moment。 I was 

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